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About Me
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
sorry
im sorry for my thoughts
they just took over me and corrupted me into a horrilble person.
im just really sorry.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
songs below
below are the songs i was listening to and just spoke to me.
all the problems im facing are said in these songs said there own way.
all by sum 41
open your eyes
Lately, I'm not quite myself.
Maybe, I do need some help.
Just my confusion, Trust my delusion.
Don't you, Regret you met me.
Go through, These steps to get me,
Back to where we start, 'Fore I fall apart.
If I could black out, It'd become so clear,
Standing face-to-face with everything I fear.
Watch so closely, but still I don't see.
As bad as it seems, a piece of mind I steal,
An ordinary life, But consequences real.
I'm past the point of reality.
This isn't me, This isn't you,
When it's just everything we do.
Till you open up your eyes,
and understand this isn't real.
This isn't me, This isn't you,
This is everything but true,
Till we come to realize,
It's what we put each other through.
It's like a bad dream, Coming all so true,
Leaving me with nothing else left to do.
Now so helpless, I'm not so selfish.
Tell me, How does it feel to have a face like that,
How does it feel to be replaced like that.
Now so faceless,
Do you still feel?
This isn't me, This isn't you,
When it's just everything we do.
Till you open up your eyes, and understand this isn't real.
This isn't me, This isn't you,
This is everything but true,
Till we come to realize,
It's what we put each other through.
It's hard to believe right now,
This seems to be real.
Still phasing by this time,
So why can't I wake up.
This isn't me, This isn't you,
When it's just everything we do.
Till you open up your eyes, and understand this isn't real.
This isn't me, This isn't you,
This is everything but true,
Till we come to realize,
It's what we put each other through.
Maybe, I do need some help.
Just my confusion, Trust my delusion.
Don't you, Regret you met me.
Go through, These steps to get me,
Back to where we start, 'Fore I fall apart.
If I could black out, It'd become so clear,
Standing face-to-face with everything I fear.
Watch so closely, but still I don't see.
As bad as it seems, a piece of mind I steal,
An ordinary life, But consequences real.
I'm past the point of reality.
This isn't me, This isn't you,
When it's just everything we do.
Till you open up your eyes,
and understand this isn't real.
This isn't me, This isn't you,
This is everything but true,
Till we come to realize,
It's what we put each other through.
It's like a bad dream, Coming all so true,
Leaving me with nothing else left to do.
Now so helpless, I'm not so selfish.
Tell me, How does it feel to have a face like that,
How does it feel to be replaced like that.
Now so faceless,
Do you still feel?
This isn't me, This isn't you,
When it's just everything we do.
Till you open up your eyes, and understand this isn't real.
This isn't me, This isn't you,
This is everything but true,
Till we come to realize,
It's what we put each other through.
It's hard to believe right now,
This seems to be real.
Still phasing by this time,
So why can't I wake up.
This isn't me, This isn't you,
When it's just everything we do.
Till you open up your eyes, and understand this isn't real.
This isn't me, This isn't you,
This is everything but true,
Till we come to realize,
It's what we put each other through.
slipping away
I'm slippin away
In every way
I can't stay away
I'm slippin away
But tryin to make it
Through each day
I'm fallin apart
In every way
I'm findin it hard
To get by there's a hole in my heart
And I don't know why
And i've come to realize
I'm slippin away
In every way
I can't stay away
I'm slippin away
But tryin to make it
Through each day
I'm fallin apart
In every way
I'm findin it hard
To get by there's a hole in my heart
And I don't know why
And i've come to realize
I'm slippin away
lilltle know it all
I'm the kid that no one knows
I live a life I never chose
With these thoughts in my mind
On my own, my own
I'm face to face with the unknown
My Scary Movie will be shown
I got one evil mind
Of my own, of my own
We take from one another
And never stop to wonder
How it feels from the other side
When nothing lasts forever
When stupid turns to clever
Why are you surprised?
Sunday, December 14, 2008
my life so far
[x] broken a promise
[x] made a new friend
[] fell in love
[] fell out of love
[x] done something you swore never to do
[x] lied
[x] stole
[x] went behind your parents back
[x] cried over a broken heart
[x] disappointed someone close
[x] hidden a secret
[x] pretended to be happy
[] got arrested
[] kissed in the rain
[x] slept under the stars
[x] gotten in a fight
[] kept your new years resolution
[x] forgot your new years resolution
[x] met someone who changed your life
[] met one of your idols
[x] changed your outlook on life
[x] sat home all day doing nothing
[x] pretended to be sick
[] left the country
[x] almost died
[x] drank yourself retarded
[x] lost someone close to you
[x] been to the hospital
[x] gotten closer to someone
[] streaked
[x] cried over someone
[] broken up with a gf or bf
[x] given up something important to you
[x] talked on the phone all night
[x] learned something new about yourself
[x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
[x] made a change in your life
[x] found out who your true friends were
[x] made a total fool of yourself
[x] met great people
[x] made a new friend
[] fell in love
[] fell out of love
[x] done something you swore never to do
[x] lied
[x] stole
[x] went behind your parents back
[x] cried over a broken heart
[x] disappointed someone close
[x] hidden a secret
[x] pretended to be happy
[] got arrested
[] kissed in the rain
[x] slept under the stars
[x] gotten in a fight
[] kept your new years resolution
[x] forgot your new years resolution
[x] met someone who changed your life
[] met one of your idols
[x] changed your outlook on life
[x] sat home all day doing nothing
[x] pretended to be sick
[] left the country
[x] almost died
[x] drank yourself retarded
[x] lost someone close to you
[x] been to the hospital
[x] gotten closer to someone
[] streaked
[x] cried over someone
[] broken up with a gf or bf
[x] given up something important to you
[x] talked on the phone all night
[x] learned something new about yourself
[x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
[x] made a change in your life
[x] found out who your true friends were
[x] made a total fool of yourself
[x] met great people
Friday, December 12, 2008
i actually am a crazy person looking for love. that subject has been on my mind alot. i had an epiphany a few days ago and it is that i really want a relationship. one that is fun and "immature" and also serious so i can just talk to them about my problems and they can tell me theirs. also someone who will be there and not shoot you down.
I want to go on wild adventures (if you know what i mean. ha jk) that take us to somewhere exotic and interesting. and then lay in a tall feild of comfortable grass and just gaze at the stars or clouds with out saying anything, or climb a tree and just hang out there observing the world we live in. making comments and sharing our knowledge about life, then going out to a place not well known and eating there.
i also want to go to the amusement park to let the little kid outside of me and just be free and have fun with him. and long trips on car, plane, train, subway, bike, shoes, and flying :}
I want to go on wild adventures (if you know what i mean. ha jk) that take us to somewhere exotic and interesting. and then lay in a tall feild of comfortable grass and just gaze at the stars or clouds with out saying anything, or climb a tree and just hang out there observing the world we live in. making comments and sharing our knowledge about life, then going out to a place not well known and eating there.
i also want to go to the amusement park to let the little kid outside of me and just be free and have fun with him. and long trips on car, plane, train, subway, bike, shoes, and flying :}
it is so overrated.
everyone has one.
what do you even do on there.
so many people have gone up to me and tell me they have one, so that is why it is just getting so annoying...................... ok well not annoying but that is why it is on my mind.
haha... shmesmeeshma ;]
everyone has one.
what do you even do on there.
so many people have gone up to me and tell me they have one, so that is why it is just getting so annoying...................... ok well not annoying but that is why it is on my mind.
haha... shmesmeeshma ;]
we are all crazy people looking for love :D
Today was really fun. I am glad that we all hung out and went to sunrise even when we new it was closed but we just walked in and just walked all downtown (the sweet snacks were delicious).
It was different and i need diferent right now. I need a break from the norm. a change that is good, and today was perfect for it. My mind could finally just take a break from every news that comes into my life. I am starting to actually go out and hang out with my acquainences and letting them into my friendship life. I love it. There really wasn't any awkwardness and im not going to make any with the new "friends" i have.
It is a good way to learn things and meet interesting people, and if you just be yourself around them and they are fine with it and can be themselves around you then you have another friend.
well all i really got to say is thank you for tonight and we have to do it again sometime :)
(ok so fyi, it is really freezing in this room and i am shivering non stop so it is really hard to write and concentrate so i am sorry if this is confusing at points i just dont want to go back and read what i have written and correct it)
Monday, December 8, 2008
up till now
staying up late and doing homework.
drinking chai tea in the morning.
coming in really late for spanish or skipping.
being really tired all the time.
double guessing myself.
negativity.
questioning reality.
procrastinating every second i got.
thinking about you/you guys.
something always hurting.
always hurting someone.
being rebelious.
loving life.
drinking chai tea in the morning.
coming in really late for spanish or skipping.
being really tired all the time.
double guessing myself.
negativity.
questioning reality.
procrastinating every second i got.
thinking about you/you guys.
something always hurting.
always hurting someone.
being rebelious.
loving life.
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